Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
