I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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