Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
