question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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