the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize