he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
