if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
