I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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