Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
