why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
