The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
