Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Randomize
