And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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