Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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