what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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