Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Randomize