I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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