So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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