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I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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