Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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