at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i think i just lost a toe
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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