I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
