u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
