The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize