are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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