i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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