I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
