He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize