Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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