escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
