You're completely useless in the revolution.
I want to have your abortion
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize