Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
