So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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