I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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