You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize