Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
