i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize