I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
