Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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