I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
