I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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