Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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