All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
