I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
