I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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