Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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