I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
