Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize