Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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