Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
