Michael Bay diarrhea
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
