they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
please don't ironically join a cult
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