worst night to have a conscience
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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