come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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