Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
