Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Are my feet made of real feet?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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