ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
