just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
