I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize