So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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