Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
