Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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