oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
