How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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