20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize