do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
