you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize