im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
