After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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