CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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