Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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