I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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