Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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