i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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