I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
