My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
