ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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