Buhtt sex?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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