covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
