i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
